admin @ Thu, 2007-04-05 08:00
It is entirely possible that you're experiencing irritation from one of the ingredients in your lubricant. K-Y contains both glycerin and parabens, as do many water-based lubricants. On a different health note, there have been no formal studies proving that glycerin is a culprit behind yeast infections, though many women (myself included) complain about or have self-diagnosed this as an issue. Astroglide, a company whose lubricants contain glycerin, says, on one hand, that it isn't true that glycerin causes yeast infections but, on the other, "an existing yeast infection can be made worse by using products containing a large percentage of glycerin. This is because the sugars in glycerin act as a food source for the yeast. Women who are prone to yeast infections should use a lubricant that does not contain glycerin."
There is however, clinical documentation of people being allergic to parabens (the preservatives in many lubes) and a skin rash is one symptom. You might want to look out for lubricants that use grapefruit seed extract as their preservative instead – Probe and O'My being two.
Astroglide, by the way, has a brand new lubricant that contains neither glycerin nor parabens and, though it is not yet available in Canadian shops, it is available through their website at www.astroglide.com . Astroglide also offers free samples through the site, unfortunately not of the glycerin- and paraben-free product. I'll be receiving a bottle soon – I'll let you all know how it works out for me – and Come As You Are says they should be carrying it by May. There is an extensive list of paraben- and glycerin-free lubes here: www.sexuality.about.com/od/personallubricant/index_a.htm . Many sex shops carry $1 samples of these lubricants. Why not purchase a variety and give them all a go?
It's not unusual for women to have to dig a little deeper to achieve orgasm as they hit menopause. If you're not already using a strong vibrator (like the Magic Wand or something with similar torque) during sex, consider buying one to kick-start things.
The Boston Women's Health Book Collective put out Our Bodies, Ourselves: Menopause just last year and, judging by a flip through with particular attention to the chapter on sex, it's as essential as their classic original publication. The Sinclair Institute – a company that makes explicit educational films – also has a DVD for couples over 40 (www.bettersex.com ). Satisfying sex is totally negotiable at all times in your life if you want it. It's just a matter of dealing with the state of your gear and treating it with mindfulness and respect.
The amount of existing business is one simple way of finding out if there is a market for a sexual service. There are very few male dominants-for-pay for women. In fact, there are very few male sex workers for women – a situation we could spend days debating the reasons for, I'm sure. Even if there were a healthy demand, I worry about the level of experience you would bring to what can be an intricate fantasy. If you don't know about negotiating safe words and boundaries and you don't have a gift for watching someone's reactions, do you really think you're ready to be paid for this? Do you even have a proper dungeon?
Check out the S/M book section in your local sex shop before you place ads for pay. Begin by placing ads for play – Craig's List and Altsex (www.altsex.org ) are where many perverts meet online – and going to S/M nights and respectfully watching others in action. You can go ahead and place a professional ad, Dominant, but I'll tell you the likelihood of women paying for this service, especially from someone with limited experience, is slim.
Like so many kids who surf the net, I am a fan of that "directory of wonderful things," Boing Boing, where I found this link last week: www.tinyurl.com/2dgmkb . Scientists in the Netherlands put several heterosexual couples and a few single women in a MRI system having sex to measure internal response. The photos are really fucking cool and so are the results, all conveyed in that tickled pink, down-to-earth style characteristic of the Dutch.
And those following my quest to set up a website to help nice people meet one another (see "Join the average cliché revolution," Love Bites, March 8) say hello to baby www.averagewalkingcliche.com ! Our flash page is up, thanks to Sean Pajot, and the dating site for those who are nice as hell and not going to take it anymore will be coming together within the next month or two. And to Nathaniel, "born without the shopping/decorating gene," who asked "if AWC was for gay guys too": natch! Average Walking Cliché is for all average walking clichés, no matter what their gender or orientation. Remember friends, Jamie Campbell, whose brilliantly drab and introverted style just screams AWC, is taking pictures for the look of the site, so if you want to become an AWC model, get in touch with him at jamiecampbellphotography@yahoo.ca . We're also looking for suggestions for profile questions. Please send them along.
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